For Times of Sickness

Giver of life provide for me strength.

You who bring order to chaos bring order to my body.

Help me to endure the pain I feel.

Help me face the fear of not getting better.

Let me not believe that being sick means you do not love me.

If this sickness is an act of love disciplining; then let me comprehend that discipline.

If this sickness is just part of being in a broken world; allow it to open my heart to the others who suffer from the brokenness of the world.

If this sickness is due to good stewardship of my body; then forgive me that sin.

Help me see how going through this suffering will help me become more like the Christ. Help this illness to make me not bitter but better.

It is appointed to me at sometime to die and then I will see you face to face.

Help me see how fragile I am. Help me recognize moment by moment my total dependence upon you as the LORD OF LIFE.

Thank you for this day of life. Thank you for the measure of health I have. Thank you for your mercy on me this day.

Meditation on prayer

Lord, I was meditating the other day.

I know you want me to pray. I have not because I fail to ask you. I have not because I fail to ask with the right attitude. I ask for the wrong things. But you call me to pray.

You call me to pray passionate, real, honest, wild, prayers like those in the psalms. It is hard to be like David Lord. He was a very passionate man. A man after your own heart when he was rightly attuned.

I find myself to be run down, tired, and weary. I find myself praying prayers like I would have a conversation with an honored friend over coffee. They are more "networking" prayer times in which I see the two of us talking about common concerns and my asking your help while I also speak to you about private matters and struggles. But, I rarely get really worked up. I am not a David.

So I really need you to show me how to get my passion up. To be able to pray with that much energy. Brother James says that you desire my prayers to be fervent. To burn with intensity. Screaming prayers. That is what is hard for me. I don't scream much.

That really takes me to my meditation. In my younger years as you know I did scream in prayer a lot. My prayers were fervent. They were not always wise but they were filled with energy. I was filled with energy and hope of changing the world. I had no idea how much changing the world needed. Sometimes you answered these prayers. Sometimes you did not answer these prayers.

I prayed desperately for my grand mother and she lived 30 years and lived till 99
I prayed desperately for Pastor Jerry and he died on Easter Sunday

I prayed desperately for direction if I should become an "ordained pastor" and you answered that prayer. You provided funds to send me to seminary.
I have prayed desperately for our church to grow and you have said no to that prayer for 14 years.

You do not want me to lose heart in prayer. So help me to keep praying for your will.

At the end of every fervent prayer I believe I must come to the point of saying "not my will but yours be done." Yet, before I say this I must strive to argue with you, beg you, with humility ask you, seek you, and not give up until like Paul I get some insight into something deeper.

The smallness of the church is my thorn in the flesh. The lack of the ability to see the ministry grow is my messenger of Satan. Is "smallness" helping your grace work in me? Or am I to continue to ask you to remove it?

Fervent appeal with submission is a difficult combination.

A new year begins. Help me to become more fervent and more submissive in prayer. Give me more wisdom about how to pray. Fill me with the Spirit so that I may pray for your glory and my good.

Thank you blessed Messiah Jesus

Thank you Father

Thank you Holy Spirit

Amen

Open the eyes of my heart

Eternal friend and lover,

You who are outside of time help me deal with time.

Another year has passed. In some ways we have made progress. In other ways we have suffered losses. We have more than we had a year ago in some ways and we have less than we had a year ago in other ways. There has been no massive success and no massive failure. Just living in the mediocre reality of getting by and not seeing goals reached nor seeing dreams die.

It is hard to live in grey. It is hard to pray in grey. It is hard to praise in grey. Yet, that is where you have called me to live is in the kingdom of the grey. In the shadow lands. And I am getting older and have seen more and more of my friends die. I am mortal and there is a good chance I will die in the grey. I will leave behind a grey legacy. That was not what I had hoped.

So, give me a love for what you have ordained in my life. Help me to see where I need to learn to pray and love better. I know that I am a long way from trusting and caring enough. Change my heart. Magnify yourself in my soul. Let my spirit rejoice in your love.

Open the eyes of my heart Lord that I might see you high and lifted up.

Prayer for the half full glass

Eternal and universal one who is with me every second and shares every breath I take.

Hear your child

I do thank you for the things that are better than they should be

For the friend who has recovered from the sickness that should have crippled them

For the one who was addicted who now is free from addiction

For the freedom to travel where before we were trapped

For the increase of faith where there was a temptation to not believe

For all these things that you have put into my glass this year

Thank you

Provider of all good gifts

Help me see your hand behind all good events

Increase my vision of God

Lord, infinite, eternal, wise, good, holy, caring, merciful, graceful, creator, redeemer, being of all being, increase my vision of who you are.

My vision of you is much to small. My soul imagines you as some type of "super hero" type being when really you are a million times greater than that.

You are over me, under me, around me, in me, outside of me, surrounding every atom of my being and even dwelling with my soul, spirit, true self, core being. You are intimately aware of every aspect of me and I am not a mystery to you at all. You alone understand me. Your comprehension of me is perfect and complete. You totally know me even better than I know myself. Lord increase my vision of who you are. My vision of you is to small.

I have sinned. I am sinning. I will sin till you save me totally from my sin when I die or you return. I am twisted, broken, deformed, weak, perverted, polluted, infected, lost, and insane. Yet, you embrace me in your love. You do not forsake me. You call me child even on my worst days. You are my SAVIOR! You love my soul.

Let me feel the joy of knowing such love. Open my spirit to joy. Help me feel holy joy in light of your holy caring graceful love. You who are life have died for my sins. How can it be that I could gain from such a wild love as this?

Increase my vision of who you are. Let me see your greatness. Let me believe your greatness. Help me have hope in your greatness.

Seeking New Passion

I remember the song by Keith Green and it reflects what is in my heart today.

Lord, You're beautiful
Your face is all I see
And when Your eyes
Are on this child
Your grace abounds to me


Lord, help me see your wonder. Grant me a vision of your character and your competence. Help me be awed by your wonder. Open my heart and increase my love for you.

Lord, please light the fire
That once burned bright and clear
Replace the lamp of my first love
That burns with holy fear

Lord, You're beautiful
Your face is all I see
And when Your eyes
Are on this child

Your grace abounds
Your grace abounds
Your grace abounds to me

Lord, please light the fire
That once burned bright and clear
Replace the lamp of my first love
That burns with holy fear

Lord, I need your mercy, Help me remember my first love. Let me see my journey from your perspective. Let my journey be faith building and let my faith be love building. Lord have mercy on me.

Lord have mercy on your Church. Revive and Renew us! Give us holy passion! Light the fire in your Church and send us a true Pentecost.

For your glory and our good! Hear the cry of your people and do great things in our generation! Do great things in my heart.

Seeing Intimacy

Dear Eternal, Good, Living, Personal, Love

You are greater than all I can think of you.

You are infinite beyond my understanding of infinite.

I am much smaller than I think I am.

Yet, you have numbered the hairs on my head.

You even now dwell with me and listen to my voice and even my thoughts.

You are more intimate with me than any other person will ever be.

You are in me more than anyone else will ever be in me.

You are intimate with me and know me totally.

My deepest soul is naked before you.

You know me better than I know myself.

You embrace me in my brokenness.

You have suffered to embrace me.

Your suffering is also infinite.

Beyond words.

Beyond human comprehension.

We speak of it.

But we do not begin to understand it.

You know me not only as Creator but as Redeemer.

Not only as maker but as lover.

You have chosen to adopt me.

Help me to know you as much as a finite being can ever know you.

Help me to seek intimacy with you that reflects your seeking intimacy with me.

Forgive me because my desire for you is so small, help me to grow in this desire.

Be patient with me and remember that I am so small and sinful.

Help me grow in my love of you and your righteousness.

Help us to grow.

Open my eyes to your presence with me this day. Open my soul to know you dwell in me today. Make me aware of my need of you and that without you I can do nothing.

Lord have mercy on me and help me grow in your grace.

I ask everything based upon the mercy you have demonstrated in Jesus to me. Amen

Seeking Focus

Dear Lord,

I can become so focused on minor things. I can become deeply dedicated to my entertainment. I can lose sight of major things in the shadow of minor things.

Lord help me to avoid such waste of breath.

Lord teach me to understand Sabbath Rest.

Lord teach me to love.

Teach me to love you.

Teach me to love others.

Teach me to love the soul you made in me.

Lord help me to live with the complexity of life. Help me find the most simple life I can find and still be faithful to your will for my life. Lord teach me to find a simple life and a simple faith.

Lord fill me, control me, and incarnate your character in me. Let me be your body today in the interactions of my life.

Help me find the path from this point in life that will leave the best legacy I can based on where I have travelled.

Lord have mercy on your child this day.

A prayer about mistakes

Lord, I have made mistakes. I have failed to live by the wisdom that I would give to others. I have allowed insanity to sometimes rule my actions. Please forgive me.

How can mistakes be overcome? How can the past be corrected? I carry the burden of my poor judgments and wonder if at times they will crush me. I believe you forgive, but the weight of them is more than I can bear. Please give me strength or release me from the just consequences of my foolishness.

Lord you must be greater than my mistakes. You must be able to work all things together for good. Even my insanity must be able to become part of the perfect picture you have for my life. I hope that is the case. Let me have the wisdom to discern your purpose in all that is happening. Open my eyes to see what must be done.

Thank you for loving me with my mistakes. Knowing you embrace me as your prodigal child means so much to me. Without that I would perish. I long to be able to feel that embrace in my resurrected body. To hear your words of assurance that all is well.

Lord have mercy today and help me to hear your words of encouragement in my heart.

Keep me from foolish acts in the future. Let me learn the price of insanity.

Lord have mercy on me a sinner.

Prayer for motivation

Lord, I am tempted to not believe it matters.

My striving and struggling. My efforts to follow you. My prayers.

Depression is such a safe place. It frees me from following. If frees me from seeking. It frees me for striving and struggling.

But depression only leads to death.

So open my ears today that I will be able to hear your gospel.

Let my heart sing with your heart as you tell me of your unending love.

Let me not just see the deep horribleness of my sins but the great wonder of your love in paying for the just price of my transgressions.

Let me see your love in your cross this day. Let me stand under the wonder of your redeeming love. Let me see that you did not given in to despair but acted in faith, hope, and love in saving me. Let me grow in my vision of the mystery of your love found in your death, burial, and resurrection.

Let me hear that I might believe.

Fill my heart with your passion and motivate me to seek first your kingdom.

Fill me with hope instead of despair

In this make me like yourself.